9 Reasons We Think Herman Cain is Black & Proud
Don't be fooled by that tap-dancing he's doing for white Republicans
Don't get it twisted. Herman Cain is black.
Pay no attention to him telling the Values Voters Summit audience that he ain't mad at white America for how blacks were treated in the past, or for his dialing back criticism of Rick Perry when the "niggerhead" controversy emerged. That's all G from a guy who's trying to ingratiate himself with white voters. Despite him saying that he is "American first, black second," we have reason to believe that Cain is indeed first and primarily black. Pay attention to the fact that some of the first words out of his mouth when he announced to thousands in Atlanta that he was running for President were "awwwww shucky ducky." Pay attention to the fact that when "niggerhead" was exposed he was one of the first black people to make a public statement about it.
Still not convinced? We went through his book "This is Herman Cain!, My Journey to the White House" and found nine facts about Cain that proves he is way blacker then he's cared to admit on the campaign trail:
1. CHROMED OUT CADDIES
Cain's father Luther bought a Cadillac growing up -- three Caddies actually. Herman brags about this, especially about the fact that one Caddy was chromed out, which was how playa's did it back in the 60s, which was "the era of chrome." Describing his dad's car Cain says "Today you would call it a drug dealer’s car-you get the image?” Yeah, we get it. Cain also recalls speeding -- "doing 85" -- down the interstate with his father and brother in those Caddies while on the radio with truckers asking them to look out for the police -- speeding through Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee, the whole Dirty South, daring a cop to pull them over.
2. STREET CRED
As a young'n, playing with his brother Thurman, Herman watched his brother Thurman point a BB gun at their cousin Elizabeth and then shoot her in the butt. He doesn't really have anything else to say about it except that she "was not really hurt," showing his inner ruthless, gangsta side.
3. LOVE FOR THE PJs
Throughout his book, when referring to the public housing he lived in when he was younger, he spells “Projects” with a capital P -- “I’ll never forget the day when I was in fourth grade that we moved from the Projects to our house on Pelham Street.” He doesn’t even capitalize the "p" in President of the United States in the book, but it's okay -- we know he's proud of his roots.
4. NO LOVE FOR PO-PO
When Herman was a teen, he'd get on segregated buses daring himself and his brother to sit in the "whites only" part, but with his eye on cops who “were just looking for a reason to shoot a black person who ‘got out of line.’" Only black people have to watch their back around 5-0 like that. Ice Cube would be proud.
5. HBCU ALUM
If Herman Cain becomes the POTUS, he may not be the first black president, but he will be the first from a black university. Cain attended the prestigious Morehouse College, initially on a scholarship, but he lost it because he couldn’t keep a B average. Cain had a reading problem that landed him remedial classes and eventually graduated with a C average. Still, Cain says in his book that what he loved about Morehouse was “the fact that it was all male and all black.”
6. COLLEGE DISCRIMINATION
It's great to know that Cain has so much pride in being a Morehouse man, but it can't be overlooked that Morehouse was not his first choice. Before accepting at the HBCU he applied to two predominantly white schools, University of Georgia and Georgia Tech. He was denied entrance to both.
7. NO FRONTIN' ON FRIED CHICKEN
After graduating from Morehouse, his father took him and his family out to dinner, but not at just any restaurant, but “to the city’s finest soul food restaurant, Paschals, known for its fried chicken, where he treated the family to a fried chicken dinner.” We're sure Michelle Obama coughed up her salad when she read that one.
8. JIM CROW AT THE BARBERSHOP
Cain pretty much sat out the civil rights movement, which might be a blow to his blackness right there, except that he did suffer from painful racism ... at the barbershop. He's not racial victim, but "even after major civil rights legislation had been passed, I couldn’t get a haircut in the barber shop of my choosing," which is probably why he was sensitive to the "insensitivity" of "niggerhead." He once went to a barbershop and was told by the barbers that they weren’t allowed to cut black people’s hair. So Cain showed them: “I bought a set of clippers and cut my own hair. I continue to cut my own hair to this day, exercising my right as CEO of Self to do so.” That Knowledge of Self shows and proves that the black Cain is god, even if only in his own head.
9. BLACK HISTORY
Cain isn't "fond" of Black History Month. Rather, he wonders, "How come we can't we get a whole year?" [Editor's note: That's not a typo on our part. That's how it is written in Cain's poorly edited book.] Of course, having Black History year would make every year Black History Year, which means that Cain wants Black History taught every day, all day, and it don't get more progressively black than that.
Also read "9 Things From Herman Cain's Book That He Should've Kept To Himself" and "9 Signs of the Kind of President Herman Cain Would Be" as part of our Herman Cain "999" series