I'm Losing Hope on Justice for Trayvon
What is taking so long to get this case moving?
So much has happened since then.
First, Trayvon was painted as an upstanding young man who "majored in cheerfulness," according to one of his teachers. Then allegations about Trayvon's behavior bubbled up into a bonafide smear campaign with the media painting him as a thug, a drug dealer and a boy looking for trouble. Everything but a child of God. Then the police surveillance tapes were released, showing a relatively clean and unbloodied Zimmerman, who alleged that Trayvon beat him like the boy was Tyson in his prime, knocking him out with one punch. Now, enhanced video shows that yes, Zimmerman had some wounds on his head, but (if you ask me) nowhere near the extent that Zimmerman should have shown if he suffered a bloodied nose and a head repeatedly punched and slammed into the sidewalk.
But most notable is what hasn't happened.
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George Zimmerman hasn't been arrested, there is no real movement on the case and we're left to battle out the sketchy details in the public court of opinion versus an actual court of law.
If I can be completely honest here, I'm losing hope. All these rallies, all the photos of Skittles and hoodies populating my Facebook feed, all the press conferences with Trayvon's parents — all of it is becoming more infuriating. All these calls for justice don't erase the fact that upon arriving at the scene and finding a young black boy on the ground, dead and bloody, it was all too easy for the Sanford Police Department to take George Zimmerman's word for how things actually went down.
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It angers me that Trayvon has to defend himself from the grave. It angers me that because he was serving a ten-day school suspension that some people see it as relevant to his murder (yes, I'm going to call it a murder). It angers me that the Stand Your Ground law was even passed; it angers me that Zimmerman can try to hide behind it. It angers me that with Trayvon's story in the headlines, the Internet racists that I can normally avoid are out in full force, posting comments so vile that it makes me want to homeschool my children.
But what angers me most is that we may never see justice for Trayvon. And I know you're not supposed to say things like that out loud because it's damaging to the cause. But it's been over a month since he was killed. I am not a lawyer by any stretch of the imagination, but the 911 calls alone (coupled with new claims from a voice expert that the screams heard on the tape are not George Zimmerman's) should be worth an arrest. You can't follow someone and claim self-defense.
This is not okay. I don't want to live in a world where these types of injustices stand and the voice of the righteous is silenced. So I don't want to give up. I don't want to silently say a prayer for my brothers and sisters and go about my life like Trayvon didn't exist. I don't want to give up.
But I'm tired. This case has been emotionally draining — I can't imagine how Trayvon's parents are drawing on their strength to help them get through it. Every time I see a new piece of information, my emotions begin to manifest themselves physically — headaches, heartburn, muscle stiffness. Each piece of evidence that seems to corroborate Zimmerman's story serves as one more roadblock to ensuring that we will see justice at the end of this. And I can't take it.
It's all reminding me that this world we live in (that I've brought my children into) is imperfect and especially hard for people who look like my family members. I'm tired of carrying this burden around — if George Zimmerman isn't arrested, it effectively means that young black boys like my son don't matter. And I know Trayvon is but one in a long line of young black men gunned down before their time, but I never gave up hope that we would be able to find justice for everyone, no matter their skin color.
I just don't know how much longer I can hold out.