1 year ago
Find out if yours is a fraud.
A few years ago, while everyone else is worrying about identity theft, I was consumed with relationship fraud.
Don't know what I'm talking about?
Well, have you ever been in a situation where you and your partner are doing everything that would classify as a relationship: having transcendent sex, spending four to five evenings a week together, hanging out with each other's friends, talking about the future, having deep meaningful conversations about everything from religion and politics to Family Guy? But whenever you hint at exclusivity or attempt to hold your guy accountable for some thing or another, he's totally non-committal. Somehow, that old saying about if it looks, walks and talks like a duck then it is one, just doesn't seem to fly.
So, if you feel like you're giving 110 percent and only getting 50 in return, you just may be in what I call a "counterfeit relationship."
Like a knock-off designer handbag, my love had all the attributes of the real thing but none of the authenticity. For nearly two years, I fell deeper in love with a man that was incapable of commitment, true intimacy or reciprocity yet, he called everyday, traveled all over the globe with me, but he wasn’t my man. Like a fabricated Fendi, my relationship had all the trappings of the real things but was missing something major, like, the logo.
Sure, there were lots of highs but the lows often left me in doubt of myself and my own worth. It’s like if someone calls your bluff on your imitation handbag, you feel cheap. Sometimes, when men are honest and tell us what they are or aren't willing to do, we fool ourselves into thinking that we can deal and that they will change. But one thing is for sure, you can't transform something bogus into something genuine, you just can't. And inevitably, don’t we all want something pure, reliable, credible and authentic? Ultimately, I decided I could no longer settle for a knockoff commitment.
*Next week, my gay boyfriend is going to stop by and answer a few questions. Submit yours in the comments section below!