Don’t Be a Ho, Be a Man
A public service announcement from guest blogger, Jozen Cummings.
Dear bitterSweet Readers,
For the next month, I need to take a break from everything, this blog included, to tie up some necessary loose ends - not such a mystery if you've noticed all the mentions I've made about a certain dissertation. But don't fret, I'm leaving you in the big strong hands of a man named Jozen Cummings. Some of you may already be familiar with his blog, Until I Get Married, some of you may not. Sometimes I agree with what he writes and sometimes I do not, but either way it's always thought-provoking. So, keep coming back 3 times a week for your dose of the bitterSweet from the male perspective. Don't worry, I'll be back in June! Now here's, Jozen
Young man, I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but you’re a ho. You’re not a male ho; there’s really no such thing, and no man should ever call themselves a male ho. Just call yourself a ho, learn to accept it, because it’s only then can you learn to do something about it.
You may think you don’t want to do anything about being a male ho right now. When you were a kid, and still longing for the days when you could finally say you were no longer a virgin, being a ho was a fantasy of sorts. To you, it meant you weren’t only active, you were in demand, and what guy doesn’t want to be in demand when it comes to a woman’s sexual needs?
Then your fantasy became a reality, but you were so blind, so insatiable, you didn’t even realize you were being a ho and, what’s even more sad is that you didn’t realize how bad it made you look.
Your first flaw was thinking you couldn’t be a ho simply based on the idea only women are called hoes. That’s nonsense, delusional and chauvinistic. Consider for a second how many women can probably have sex anytime they want to, simply because men are easily had. Also consider the idea that most women are just as sexual as men, and yet, most constantly suppress that side of them. They do this because men like you would call them a ho if they acted otherwise. So they don’t have sex anytime they want, and they don’t reveal their more sexual side for anyone they want. You, on the other hand, don’t apply any self-discipline.
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You think it’s right to sleep with as many women as possible. You’re told at a young age there’s plenty of fish in the sea, and you should sow your wild oats and all the other clichés for bad behavior. So you go out in the world and start obeying what you were told, and when you begin your run, no one says you should slow down or you should stop. Your boys are impressed with your numbers, the women are getting curious by the stories they’ve heard. But as time goes on, you start letting the reputation get to your head and you start accepting any woman into your bedroom. There are women you invite over with whom you wouldn’t be caught in broad daylight. You even forget some of their names. You sleep with one girl and then you sleep with her friend. You even sleep with a girl one of your boys had some history with. After a while, your boys mock your inability to chill and the women are now grossed out by the stories they’ve heard.
Everyone is calling you a “ho."
And take it from me, being a ho is not going to sound good to your ears. I remember a night when the song by Ludacris, "Ho," came on at a party. The group of friends I was with turned to me and pointed with their index fingers while rapping along. Needless to say, it wasn’t music to my ears. I was defensive, and then embarrassed.
At first, you will do the same thing, explaining away your reputation with a flippant reminder that you’re a man and it’s what you’re supposed to do. And no one will argue, they’ll just respect you less.
And at some point, it’s going to get under your skin, because you’re not a ho, you say, you’re a man. But saying yes to every opportunity for sex doesn’t make you a man; getting some standards and saying no to the things most hoes would say yes to, does.
So, if you’re the man you say you are, you’re going to have to prove it.