5 Tips For Keeping The Romance Alive

Longtime couples can rekindle the spark

If you and your significant other have been romantically involved for several years now, it’s no surprise if you’ve lost the spark that defined your relationship in the beginning. Actress Helen Mirren, who married “Ray” director Taylor Hackford in 1997, recently confessed that she and her spouse don’t exchange cards on Valentine’s Day and forget to buy birthday gifts for each other. While an unsentimental relationship may work just fine for some couples, others seek to keep the romance alive—on Valentine’s Day and the rest of the year too. The tips below will help longtime couples rekindle the spark.

Schedule Time For Intimacy: Most people would prefer that sex be spontaneous but the more commitments a longtime couple has—work, children, chores—the less likely they’ll be to make sex a priority. According to the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Jim Burns: “All marriage authorities do agree that a scheduled regular time for sexual intimacy can bring a spark back to the relationship quite quickly. Believe me, if you do this, you will get past the word ‘schedule’ very quickly.”

Plan Fun Date Nights: Woman’s Day magazine advises couples not only to go on regular date nights but also to plan fun events together for such dates. Eating at the same restaurant each week isn’t likely to rejuvenate a romantic relationship, the magazine reports. Doing new activities together can rekindle the flame, however. “When you do exciting things as an individual, it has no impact on your marriage,” Stony Brook University Psychology Professor Arthur Aron told Woman’s Day. “But when you do things together as a couple, you can’t avoid thinking about your partner while it’s going on. You get an excited, good feeling when you do these fun things, and your partner is associated with it. It’s rewarding. And it can be very positive for your marriage.”

Make Time For Conversation: Even if you and your spouse are extremely busy, it’s important to set aside time each day to listen to your partner. Devote 15 minutes to hearing about your partner’s day, CBN advises. Talk to each other about your hopes and concerns and how you can support each other. Communication builds intimacy.

Don’t Let Yourself Go: If you’ve had the same hairstyle for 10 years, consider updating your look. Buy some new clothes if you can afford the purchase. Maintain a health and fitness plan. You’ll feel better about yourself if you maintain your appearance and health and your partner will appreciate the effort and may be inspired to follow suit.

Keep Evolving: You’ll be more interesting to your partner if you try new things. Join a Meetup group. Get a hobby. Volunteer. Connect with old friends. If you remain interested in life, your partner will likely remain interested in you.

[ALSO READ: DATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE]

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