5 New Laws that Will Leave You Scratching Your Head
For different reasons, these law changes are somewhat baffling
Every year, new laws go into effect that are made to make the lives of Americans better everywhere. State legislatures come up with these laws -- sometimes they succeed, other times, well, these laws beg the question: What are they thinking?
For all intents and purposes the following fall under the latter category.
1. In Colorado, football coaches will have to bench players as young as 11 when they're believed to have suffered a head injury.
That’s well and good. But will it stop coaches from keeping their young players doing things like this? Highlight-driven 24-hour cycle sports networks with PSAs from hard-hitters like James Harrison and Troy Polamalu geared toward kids? That would be ten times as effective as a law which leaves the health of players up to the coaches. Youngsters will need medical clearance to play, but they need to be evaluated on the field by a medical professional! Not days later in the doctor’s office. That’s jacked up.
2. An addendum, per the Houston Chronicle: "The law also requires coaches in public and private schools and even volunteer Little League and Pop Warner football coaches to take free annual online training to recognize the symptoms of a concussion. At least a dozen other states have enacted similar laws with the support of the National Football League."
You simply cannot cannot CANNOT put the onus on the coaches to determine if I player is healthy enough to play. Coaches do not make good decisions when it comes to matters of health in the heat of games and often practices -- yes, practice. They have a vested interest in the outcomes of games and no amount of online prep or training can take away this bias. If states -- and the NFL for that matter -- care about its athletes the way they profess, they will hire independent medical professionals with absolute power as it pertains to keeping a player with a head injury off the field of play.
3. Florida will take control of lunch and other school food programs from the federal government, allowing the state to put more Florida-grown fresh fruit and vegetables on school menus.
The American family farm is virtually an endangered species and, for all these years, the federal government stood in the way of getting locally-grown fresh fruits and vegetables into the school cafeterias into the mouths of children whose parents pay taxes for them to go there in the first place? Raise your hand if you’re as dizzy as we are over this.
4. The contributions of gays and lesbians must now be taught in public schools. The law also bans teaching materials that reflect poorly on gays or particular religions.
Shout out to the lazy teacher who will pop in the DVD of Milk, the biopic on the legendary Harvey Milk who, apparently didn’t exist as the single most influential politician in that state’s history. Of course, opponents are trying to eradicate the law altogether; indeed, some parents are fighting for the option to take their children out of such classes. We wish we were making this up.
5. Girls seeking an abortion in New Hampshire must tell their parents -- or a judge.
Because those are the two people you want to tell when you are making perhaps the biggest and most private decision of your life: The people who will more than likely kill you or a complete stranger with a law degree, a funny looking robe and a gavel. I mean, why would you want to tell your doctor? And come on, what about the ones whose parents who are judges?