The President Who Came Out of the Closet
Now that he's done it, the obvious question is: “Evolution complete, then?”
The views expressed in this Op-Ed do not reflect that of Loop 21.
Let me make it plain. I don’t care about gay marriage. But then I don’t care about straight marriage either. I mean, since I’ve been married for 31 years, I’m pretty good at it, but I don’t think being married is all that big of a thing. The idea that one person can meet all your needs mentally, physically, intellectually and especially, sexually for the rest of your life, always and forever, strikes me as damn near impossible.
But if gay folks want to join me in the institution of marriage, why should I be upset? There’s enough misery to share so come on down and get your share.
Like Barack Obama, my position on same-sex marriage had to evolve and what it evolved to is the conclusion that it is no business of mine who wants to get married. As long as it's limited to two people of the age of majority, they can jump the broom and turn the two into one. More power to them.
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The greatest right is the right to be left the hell alone. I can’t think of a single credible reason to be opposed to gay marriage that doesn’t have bigotry and homophobia attached to it. And I know I’m not hearing any noise from folks saying they are against gay marriage because it’s “unnatural” and if it keeps up, there won’t be babies born.
If there’s 2 things that there are no shortage of, it's babies and stupid people making babies they don’t love, won’t take care of, and really don’t want. The biggest threats to heterosexual marriage are cheating, divorcing, spouse abusing, not-ready-to-be-married heterosexuals.
Never mind all the number of marriages that crash and burn in bitter divorce. Forget about all the wives being thumped by husbands. Let’s not dwell on all those men who slip their ring off along with their boxer shorts to cheat with some other man’s wife. We can focus on what a threat celebrity marriages are and how Kim Kardashian’s 72-days-long drive-by nuptials isn’t even close to being the shortest on record. Try Cher and Gregg Allman’s 8 days of wedded bliss for making a total joke of holy matrimony.
Two women raising their kids together next door isn’t a “threat” to my many years of matrimony. Anyone who uses that as an excuse for their own stuff being raggedy, has no business being married in the first place.
Let’s get serious here, people. Bruce and Dick putting a ring on it isn’t going to make one married couple break apart, so don’t use my situation to justify your issues with homosexuals, okay? The last group that can hide behind their fear of a gay planet are Blacks. If our right to vote were put up to a vote the way the right for gays and lesbians to get married has been, how many of the 50 states would take that right away, especially when there’s a Black man running for reelection? Rights should never be subject to who has the best 30-second ad.
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As far as Obama coming out (after Joe Biden gave him a big-ass push out of the closet) for gay marriage, the obvious question is, “Evolution complete then?”
Those who were waiting for Obama to come out in favor of gay marriage will be pleased. Those who were waiting for Obama to come out in favor of gay marriage that don’t like Obama or gay marriage will howl like stuck pigs. Those who are blind cynics that are in favor of gay marriage but don’t want to say anything nice about Obama being in favor of it too will grumble, gripe and grip that it’s too little too late, that he should have done it on Inauguration Day 2008 and that it’s purely pandering to an important Democratic base.
Everyone else? As you were. The sun will rise in the East and set in the West and by the time our kids are having kids, they won’t think twice about those two nice old guys who walk their dog and wave “hello” at their neighbors. At least not in my neighborhood.
Yours might have a problem with it.