The President Who Came Out of the Closet

Now that he's done it, the obvious question is: “Evolution complete, then?”

The views expressed in this Op-Ed do not reflect that of Loop 21.

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Let me make it plain. I don’t care about gay marriage. But then I don’t care about straight marriage either. I mean, since I’ve been married for 31 years, I’m pretty good at it, but I don’t think being married is all that big of a thing. The idea that one person can meet all your needs mentally, physically, intellectually and especially, sexually for the rest of your life, always and forever, strikes me as damn near impossible.

But if gay folks want to join me in the institution of marriage, why should I be upset? There’s enough misery to share so come on down and get your share.

Like Barack Obama, my position on same-sex marriage had to evolve and what it evolved to is the conclusion that it is no business of mine who wants to get married. As long as it's limited to two people of the age of majority, they can jump the broom and turn the two into one. More power to them.

[ALSO READ: Palin Rips Obama Over Gay Marriage Support]

The greatest right is the right to be left the hell alone. I can’t think of a single credible reason to be opposed to gay marriage that doesn’t have bigotry and homophobia attached to it. And I know I’m not hearing any noise from folks saying they are against gay marriage because it’s “unnatural” and if it keeps up, there won’t be babies born.

If there’s 2 things that there are no shortage of, it's babies and stupid people making babies they don’t love, won’t take care of, and really don’t want. The biggest threats to heterosexual marriage are cheating, divorcing, spouse abusing, not-ready-to-be-married heterosexuals.

Never mind all the number of marriages that crash and burn in bitter divorce. Forget about all the wives being thumped by husbands. Let’s not dwell on all those men who slip their ring off along with their boxer shorts to cheat with some other man’s wife. We can focus on what a threat celebrity marriages are and how Kim Kardashian’s 72-days-long drive-by nuptials isn’t even close to being the shortest on record. Try Cher and Gregg Allman’s 8 days of wedded bliss for making a total joke of holy matrimony.