Online Dating: 5 Tips on How to Write A Great First Message
Expert tips on the best way to connect online.
Introducing yourself when meeting someone online can be just as tricky as approaching someone at a bar. So, what is the perfect first message when online dating? I’ll tell you what’s not. A subject line that says, "Hey what's up?" and when the reader clicks there’s no actual message. Add any version of "Hi" or "Hello" to the list. There is zero substance there.
Here is the right way to write a great first message when online dating.
Compliments go a long way. Everyone wants to hear compliments. Telling her she's funny or that you love her favorite book selection will open the lines of communication easily. If you want to compliment her looks, keep it PG . Tell her something like, "You have the prettiest smile I've ever seen. I'd love to see your smile in person."
Talk about commonalities. Does she say he loves F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby? Does she fawn over her love of horror movies? Mention them in your email, especially if you feel the same way. Something like, "That's funny that you like horror movies - me too!"
Catch the person off guard with humility. Say something like, "I'm almost positive you won't respond, but I thought, we have something in common...so here goes nothing.” It shows humility and that you aren’t afraid to try, even if rejected.
Use humor. Humor can ease any feelings of uncertainty when first connecting with someone. A joke or clever remark is the ultimate ice breaker. Here in an example on how to use humor when you write your first message: "You just made dating online suck less. I'm changing my mind altogether about it once I hear from you. Now you have to write me, right?"
Be direct but not aggressive. Sometimes you just have to skip the small talk and and ask her out. It can be as direct a message as: "I saw your profile and liked what I read, and I would love to take you out for coffee." This can work if the woman you’re contacting is someone you think would be really interested in getting to know you. However, proceed with caution. Some women find this approach a little too aggressive. They may want to get to know you online a little more before taking it offline.
What was the best or worst message you’ve received when online dating? Share your story!