Jail (Love) Birds: Would You Hold it Down for the Locked-Up?
Ride-or-die chicks are in full effect on reality TV
So, before I even get deep into the details of this, I have to start with the obvious gender bias. The story of holding it down for a loved one who's been incarcerated--putting money on the books, writing letters, making visits, accepting collect phone calls--is the story of women. Rarely, if ever, do you hear of men staying faithful and true to the lady in their life that catches a case, even if she does the time in her man's place.
(When XXL magazine wrote a piece last year about Remy Ma and hubby Papoose's relationship describing this role reversal, in which Pap is holding the fort down with his and Remy's kids until she's up for possible release in 2013, I was truly stunned.)
But back to the issue at hand, with shows like Mob Wives, Real Housewives of Atlanta (the storyline regarding Phaedra and her man Apollo) and, of course T.I. and Tiny's Family Hustle, it seems damn near normal that a woman's role is to hold her man down when he gets locked up. But, would you?
[ALSO READ: Phaedra's Own Criminal Past Exposed]
I'm going to have to say, I probably would not. Now, don't get me wrong, any one of my friends will tell you that I am loyal, sometimes to a fault, but I started out in this life giving the side-eye to a prison cell. My father couldn't stay out of one and my mom, being the fiercely independent, take-no-B.S. woman that she is, divorced him while he was in there when I was just about 3 years old.
So, when my 8th grade boo got sent to military school by his mom for continuously getting into trouble, I was more than a little icy about it. When he asked if I would write him, I didn't flinch in telling him, "No, I don't write letters. And you shouldn't have been doing whatever you were doing to get you sent there. See you when you get back in summer." Even typing that now makes me think, what a little b*tch. For the record, he and I are still friends to this day.
But I am curious about what men and women think about this scenario. What are the expectations? It seems men are really let off the hook in terms of this kind of loyalty. They're not sending sexy pics and care packages or are they?
Fellas, if your lady did the crime and had to pay with time would you have her back? And ladies would you? According to the reality stars of the world and some real life women I know, of course you would.