Social Media Love: Friending & Following Make Serious Statements
Write my name on your wall so I know it's real
Dear bitterSweet Readers,
For the next month, I need to take a break from everything, this blog included, to tie up some necessary loose ends - not such a mystery if you've noticed all the mentions I've made about a certain dissertation. But don't fret, I'm leaving you in the big strong hands of a man named Jozen Cummings. Some of you may already be familiar with his blog, Until I Get Married, some of you may not. Sometimes I agree with what he writes and sometimes I do not, but either way it's always thought-provoking. So, keep coming back 3 times a week for your dose of the bitterSweet from the male perspective. Don't worry, I'll be back in June! Now here's, Jozen
The majority of people living in modern times grew up without social media. I have no hardline statistics to back this up, but I feel comfortable making this educated guess based on the following evidence: When I type the words “unfollowing” and “defriending” in my Microsoft Word document, they each get a red squiggly line underneath, proving that these are new words to describe new behavior in our society.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Gchat - hell, the whole freaking Internet, these are the places we dwell most frequently. We exist in the world, but a great deal of our world is literally in our hands, on our phones, on our computers.
Try as we may to fight this reality, it exists. It’s time to stop denying the control social media has on our lives. Instead, we should acknowledge it and embrace it so as to make our lives easier.
Nowhere is this truer than in relationships.
[ALSO READ: NY Bans Teacher-Student Talking on Social Media]
In the beginning of a relationship, we want to think we’re above having serious conversations with our partner about following each other on social media channels or friending each other on Facebook. When we break up with someone, we want to act like it’s not worth having a conversation as to whether or not we should unfollow and defriend one another. The fact is, both of these actions make serious statements.
Trust me, when I was growing up, I didn’t have these sorts of problems. At the most, I had to deal with a girl who didn’t have call waiting and going crazy over her not returning the message I left on her answering machine (I said answering machine, not a voicemail). But beyond that, I didn’t have to deal with seeing the girl I just stopped dating put pictures of her new guy through an Amaro filter. I wasn’t sweating whether or not the new girl I was dating would return my DMs in a timely manner.
To introduce you to my Twitter is to let you into a part of my life that isn’t necessarily made for everybody, the woman I’m dating included. My Facebook may reveal some things about me I’m not ready to talk about in real life. So before I allow you into these parts of my life, we should talk about it and what it means, seriously. Also, if we don’t work out, the discussion may not be necessary, but it is a big deal to unfollow you. There’s nothing small about it.
This is life now, for better or worse. It’s not my entire life, but it’s a major part of it and it deserves to be taken seriously. If we go together, follow me and friend me so I know it’s real and if we don’t go together anymore, unfollow me and defriend me so I know that’s real too.